Opepay Lacepay

The last time I visited “The Pope Place” was February 23rd.  I stated in the blog that I wished everyone could see it in the summer.  Well, things are getting a little greener:

Well, today is Day Three and THE FINAL DAY of conferences! 

One of the sessions today was about a program the state purchased that allows counties to print out WV forms in a variety of languages to give to parents that are not English speaking.  At break, a group of us were talking and my SF (who is a “newbie” on the job) asked: 

“Do the counties have to pay to use the program”? 

I patiently replied:  “No.  Remember the guy said the state purchased the program so it is free for county use”.

“Oh, okay” he said.  “Hey, I really liked the part of it that let you run off forms in different languages”.

I’m thinking to myself that was the ONLY thing the program did, but I shut up.  I figure ol’ SF was suffering from Conference Fatigue.  He will build up an immunity in a year or two.  He did survive that vasectomy after all.

Anyway, back to the translator program.  I turned to the gal beside me and asked her whether she thought it could translate forms into Pig Latin.  Well, Imkay got all excited and said she could speak fluent Pig Latin……and she can!  It was amazing!

The origins of Pig Latin are unknown, but it doesn’t really matter.  It is just plain fun!  I even found a website that translates English into Pig Latin just in case the state’s program doesn’t include it.

It’sway eenbay away onglay eethray aysday, utbay Iway urvivedsay!
Iway amway ackbay inway ymay ownway Afesay Avenhay andway
edbay onighttay.

Sing, Say, Dance, Play

Meeting Day Two.

Sing, Dance

It actually started off great! We had the wonderful pleasure to be entertained by an elementary school choir. They use a music series called Sing, Say, Dance, Play that connects music with movement, dance and speech. They sang and played percussion instruments and even danced to Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal”.

(Wonder if you need a “leaner’s permit” to make this move?)

Say?

I held a Directors’ Meeting over lunch. I forgot my planner at the table and did not realize this until I received a typed ransom note at 2:00 in the afternoon. The note said, “IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR PLANNER AGAIN LEAVE $50 IN UNMARKED BILLS AT THE EMBASSY FRONT DESK LABELED BF2 BY 3pm. It took a while, but the guilty party was unveiled!

Don’t let the smile fool ya!

Play

I celebrated the return of my planner with a little play. Continuing with the Bacon Cologne theme, I asked my table mates what flavor of food cologne they would want their man to wear. Here are their responses:

• “I like garlic and onions, but I wouldn’t like my man to smell like that so I would say Fresh-baked Bread cause I could snuggle up to that smell”. Ahhh, that’s sweet!

• “Steak cause it’s tender and juicy.”

• “Chocolate cause I like sweet, dessert types.”

• “Parsnips…..well, haven’t you ever peeled parsnips? They smell really good”. See what two days in a meeting will do to you?

• “Pizza….with lots of toppings and sauce and melted cheese all over it”. Her eyes actually rolled back into her head as she was talking.

• “Passion fruit…..self-explanatory”.

• “Pepperoni Rolls cause they have meat and buns”. I am not touching that one!

• “Wine”. I didn’t know wine was a food, but sounds good to me!

So, if any fragrance company happens to read this blog, they have a wealth of valuable information for future products.

Day Two down. One more to go!

Covert Communications

Okay, I am at day one of a three day meeting…..along with 60 plus other tired, stressed, over-worked people.  First of all, the timing of the meeting is not the greatest as we approach the end of the school year and everyone’s inboxes are bigger than their outboxes.  Secondly, the subject matter is not the most stimulating.  As one colleague stated to me during a break, “My vasectomy was less painful than this.”

So imagine the gasp that went through the audience when the speaker said “Everyone, shut down your computers”.

Grudgingly people complied and laptop lids were lowered and stowed away.  But it wasn’t five minutes until the back-ups came out…..iPhones, Droids, Blackberries.  The casual observer would see an audience looking down at the papers in front of them, but this is what was really going on:

Covert Communications! 

Beneath every table stealthly fingers were sending out texts, emails, documents.  The undercurrent of adrenaline was heavy in the room.  What will happen if I get caught?  Will she confiscate my smart phone until the meeting is over?  Will she chide me in front of the whole class…..uh, I mean room? But I have to take the chance…..this document is due by 4:00 or my head is going to roll.

The speaker today said there are three types of people in an audience:  learners, vacationers and prisoners.  That was right before she told us to “Power Down”.  I guess this was part of her “forced learning” philosophy.

But the one thing she did not take into account was the background of her audience.  As former teachers we were schooled by the best. 

We know all the tricks.