I Need a Rodent Opponent

According to the Chinese Calendar, 2011 is The Year of the Rabbit.  But not in my house.  In my house, 2011 has been The Year of the Rodent.

Yes, the woodchuck is still living under my porch.  I still don’t know how much wood a woodchuck can chuck, but I DO know how many Rose of Sharon bushes it can eat.  I thought I had gotten rid of the varmit when my parents were visiting.  Between their dog barking like crazy at the scent, my dad shooting at it and the ton of moth balls we scattered, I thought for sure we had seen the last of him.  But alas, he was apparently only on vacation.  I guess the smell of moth balls did not deter him.  I, on the other hand…….

If that isn’t bad enough, I discovered that I also have ground moles in the back yard.  Ground moles are BLIND for goodness sakes and they STILL found their way into my yard!

And did you know that moles do not hibernate. Instead, they remain active year round, traveling under snow and ice.  These guys are here to stay.  Holey Moley!  At least I can kill them vicariously…

But, the real topper came yesterday when I went to the basement to do a load of laundry.  I opened the washer door and found a MOUSE!  The washer door had been CLOSED with a rug draped over the top of it!  So what am I dealing with now?  Houdini mice?

The way I see it, there is only one thing left to do….

I know when I’m beat.

How Much Wood Can a Woodchuck Chuck?

I have a groundhog living under my deck.

Groundhogs (AKA Woodchucks) are typically burrowers.  The average groundhog has been estimated to move approximately 1 m3 (35 cu ft), or 320 kg (710 lb), of dirt when digging a burrow. I figure my groundhog is just plain lazy. 

As you can imagine, I really don’t want to share my deck with a groundhog, so I googled “how to get rid of groundhogs”.  Here are some of the results…..

1.  Sprinkle cayenne or other hot pepper on their route!

My groundhog asked for chips to go with it.

2.  Get a .22 and shoot him!

He was better armed!

3.  Pipe exhaust from your automobile via a garden hose!

He was ready with a mask!

 4.  Sic your dogs on him!

Self explanatory!

5.  My number one favorite……Just show him his shadow!

That darn groundhog is ready for everything!

Until someone comes up with a better solution, I guess I am going to have to live with the guy.  Maybe some day he will even prove to be useful….

wood chuck chuck wood wood chuck